Facebook Zombies - Allies Page - Part One

5

FACEBOOK ZOMBIES
“PEOPLE YOU MAY HAVE KNOWN”
Allie’s Page
I have thirty-four Zombie friends on my Facebook. That’s twenty more friends than I had when I was alive! Makes you wonder why more people don’t join the pack. It’s really not that hard. All you would have to do is accept my friend request. Then show up at a designated area in your neighborhood sometime after midnight and before you can say Jack Sprat can eat no fat, one of us will ravage your body and poof, you’re in. How easy is that? Then you check our posts and in that way you’re able to keep up with all the activities. The only down side is no more human food after your undead, so load up on your favorite snacks before you commit. The up side is clothing is not a biggie since you’re always going to smell to high heaven anyway…

John put up a post a few days ago asking if any of us saw his left hand. Seems it got bitten off in a melee last week. I commented that he shouldn’t worry about it since there were a bunch of leftover hands at our clubhouse and he was more than welcome to one…

One of the unforeseen problems with being a Facebook Zombie is the number of keyboards you go through in a year. I’m on my fourth one. I keep smearing blood between the keys. Next thing you know, they’re sticking. My Zombie friend Jeremy posted that he lays a see through strip of plastic wrap over his keyboard and hasn’t had a problem since. Sounds like a plan…

Sally the former Walmart greeter posted a picture of her first victim, Boris the gardener, chasing a homeless woman down by the lake. I never saw a gal look so scared. You would be too if some big Russian guy with foam spewing from his mouth like a rabid dog was trying to feed off your thighs. Kyle always was a leg man…

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