So?............where were you too?
"me"? Asked abbey. "well I was aiming to get all fancy up'd so's I can head to wal-mart, but I was to lazy that day. I wents in runners, and a good thing I dids cause when they's a come running on in I was out that door before the fancy ones even got there". She looked to her right. "what abouts you saidie"?
"at soccer with my kids. We all got out ok but it was still tramatizing". She hugs her legs. "and you buck"?
"different walmart, I was dumping in the bathroom. Glad I was there though, cause I woulda shit my pants anyways. God I miss proper toilets".
"me", said Derik. "just waking up off another drunken stupor at my uncles house. Drank so much that night I killed his plant with the force of my piss". He looked across at sam. "and you pretty lady"?
"driving a school bus, every little one of those bastards were infected, crashed it to save my own life worked too".
"well I guess that leaves Eli, eh little darlin", said Derik.
"me? Where I was? Really? When the dead attacked?" She laughed. "I was in line to watch resident evil, ironic. I actually thought they were actors too, didn't pay attention to them. Well, until they ate everyone that is".
No one really found it funny, though chukkled just the same. But it made it hard to eat as the dead hammered on the door of the tool shed they were in.
"so............ ?". Asked Eli. "eye spy anyone"?
Comments
Just something I was thinking about
I know where I would like to b when it happens, but for realitys sake I realize it won't b where I intend to. Makes u wonder where will u b if it happens
that's a funny
that's a funny conversation... I hope I'm in a more fun place than them and won't have to resort to 'eye spy'!
One hopes
Still like the zompoc we don't always get to chose where we r safe
Lol
And that's another thing, they r in a shed opose to a mall or house. I felt that it kinda brought it to reality
I usally dont like to be this guy
But have you been in a tool shed recently? Most of the time they are completely cramped with stuff. I find it hard to fit one person into a shed, much less 6 survivors from completely different areas of the town. Even if the shed were empty your average shed would be very cramped at the least, most likely with people on top of other people.
Another thing I am not fond about the shed is that they lock from the outside. So either A) you lock yourself in and starve to death without food B) The zombies tear though the crappy door C) They just open the door. (Don't argue that you could barricade a door that opens outward and have enough space to do it with 5 other people in a shed.
For all of those who think sheds are a good idea during any form of apocalypse: Go ahead and do it, we don't need you.
On another note, it was an interesting concept.
What happened to grammar? How
What happened to grammar? How about proper punctuation and spelling? Maybe using the right form of too, which happens to be two in this instance. Don't forget- Capitalization never hurt anyone...
Ok?
I do know sheds I helped build a few, but I do know where ur coming from. Lol I'll post a pic of it when I get over there next. As for grammar, I wasn't really worried about it mostly cause I just wanted to get it down. Also the title is more so for the readers then the trapped survivors. I just wanted everyone to actually think about what could b a real situation, where r u when the world ends? Hell it doesn't even have to b a zompoc just a horrible chance of fate that ur stuck where it's unlikly for u to survive. I do like getting good and bad reviews, it makes u strive harder to get out the good stuff. Anyway this was just a randomthought I had one day that I turned into a little story. Thank you for ur thoughts
Screw the Grammer Raziel
Nobody uses proper grammer in daily life, let alone emergencies. Just a slice of life in the zombie apocalypse, in the tool shed.
still
its always good to hear from all sides. if i keep getting complimented it'll go to my head and then all i'll make is crap that u pions will never understand muh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ER
i mean friendly people
ha!
I like it Raziel! I think sarcasm and irony are good last resorts. I know I would prolly be at work, at home, or in my car. It would be nice not to be alone even if we were all huddled in a tool shed.
Grammar
While I agree that the occasional mistake is not the end of the world, I do think it's a shame for a story to lose some of its effect because of SIMPLE mistakes/easy fixes.
There's nothing to stop you 'getting it all down' and THEN making sure it's right before putting it out there. All you are doing is giving trolls a stick to beat you with and risking the comments going away from the subject matter (case in point :-/)
Steven King once said: "Don't ever approach writing lightly" and in many respects I agree. If you are going to do the hard bit (sit down and put your idea on paper) you should make sure it's done correctly, every time you cut a corner and make a mistake it disrupts the flow. Your reader has to think "what does he mean there?"
You force the reader to come out of the illusion a little bit and lose some credibility as a story teller.
For what it's worth I like the idea and I do think it's worth exploring, I just think it's a shame that you seemed to rush it a bit.
Peace :)
J.
Trolls
Is the selective word!